Amissa Spes
by Cosmic Angel
Summary: Written for a suicide challenge. Disclaimer is here - I don't own Harry Potter. There ya go! Have fun reading


Thick, grey storm clouds filled the air above Britain. All day long the ominous clouds had threatened rain, and at night its threats had come through. The Muggles hid in their houses, huddled by their electric fires, drinking warm drinks and complaining about the weather.  
  
The wizards danced in celebration.  
  
This night marked the anniversary of the downfall of Lord Voldemort. It had been declared a day of celebration, when wizards threw caution to the winds and partied all night long. Their saviour, Harry Potter, was shown in houses across the world. It didn't matter that he lay in St. Mungos, still comatose. It didn't matter that his fiancee, Ginny Weasley, lay in the bed next to him, in the same state.  
  
And it didn't matter that one of the Boy-Who-Lived's friends had sacrificed himself in the final battle. Ron Weasley was buried at a prestigious wizards cemetary, in amongst the stars, finally where he belonged.  
  
And it didn't matter that his other best friend, Hermione Granger, was about to join Ron.  
  
~*~  
  
Hermione walked slowly around the lake at Hogwarts. Two years ago, she had graduated. A year ago, she had watched her friends fall, battling all the way. A year ago, Harry had finally thrown the Avada Kedavra that had killed Voldemort.  
  
Ron had to die for that to happen.  
  
She reached a secluded spot, the place where on that fateful night, one year ago, the person she loved had proposed. He had been swept into the battle, and she had not seen him since. No body was ever found.  
  
She sat down, and produced her wand. So much power, in such a small object. She had seen how much power it had when she had taken out Lucius Malfoy with one simple curse.  
  
Who would've thought that Lucius, powerful as he may be, was allergic to the fungus caused by Fernunculus.  
  
And she had lost her best friend. Her other two lay in St Mungos, apparently lost causes. Her lover, her soul mate, was missing.  
  
What else could she do?  
  
She tried to justify what she was about to do. But she found she couldn't. She was taking the cowards way out, refusing to fight for what she felt was hopeless.  
  
Hermione sat back and stared up. Even though the spot where she sat was sheltered, rain still found it's way in, and the tears on her cheek mingled with the rain. Her long, now tame hair clung to her cheeks and her clothes. With a shaking hand, she wiped the curls away.  
  
How she longed to see them again. Harry, his emerald eyes sparkling as he lost again to Ron in a game of chess. Ron himself, all red hair and freckles, smiling cheerfully as he beat Harry. Ginny, watching their antics, her eyes shining with love for the group.  
  
And Draco.  
  
Their one time foe had become a close friend to the three in their sixth year, when the Ministry finally accepted that Voldemort had risen. Draco had turned away from the dark, away from his family, and had come to Harry for help.  
  
Harry had accepted. Even though Ron refused to believe that Draco could change, even though she herself thought it a trap, Harry took Draco away from the Death Eaters and showed him how to be good. There were still arguments, but Draco wasn't the cause. For a moment, Hermione thought she had lost both Harry and Ron forever.  
  
Draco had shown her what to do.  
  
He had come to her, begging for things to be put right. He didn't want to cause any more pain, and she had agreed to give his way a try. That year had been the worst, in her opinion. Ron couldn't forgive Draco for what had happened in the past. And Harry couldn't forgive Ron for not supporting him. Hermione, caught in the cross-fire, was excluded.  
  
She had taken Draco to the Weasley's home. There had been tempers flaring, but not at Draco. At her, for neglecting her friends for a Slytherin. Of course, Molly Weasley had no idea what had happened, and Hermione had run from the house in tears to hide at her parents. Various professors had tried to get her back, Snape included, but nothing had worked. She simply sat in her room, crying.  
  
It had taken her to show Ron and Harry what had happened. Draco had remained with the Weasley's for a while, explaining what had happened. After extensive questioning, Molly and Arthur believed Draco. Molly, now living in St Mungos, refusing to leave her daughters bed. Arthur, sadly lost in the war.  
  
She had received an owl from Molly. It was an apology, and an invitation to stay with them for Christmas. She had accepted, and when she got there, was almost choked by hugs from Ron and Harry. Of course, all the other Weasley's had to join in, and she had disappeared under a crowd of redheads.  
  
She smiled at the memory, and then remembered what had happened next.  
  
Draco had come into the room, and had stood watching the group, smiling. His face spoke volumes to her. It showed that he had never had this, never had love and support. He was afraid to join in, but couldn't tear his eyes away.  
  
She had struggled out of the group, fought off Fred and George, and walked over to Draco. The whole room had waited with bated breath to see what she would do.  
  
She jumped at him, hugging him, and knocking him to the floor. His alarmed face soon turned to a friendly smile, and he hugged her back. The other Weasley's joined in, and for a moment they stood locked in a large group hug. Draco's face showed clearly all the emotions he was feeling, shock, happiness, amazement, love. He had been so shocked, and Hermione had smiled at him when they pulled apart. She remembered the first words that he said to her then.  
  
"You're amazing, Hermione."  
  
Amazing. She had never called herself that before, never even thought of herself as anything less than worthless. But this boy, almost a man, who for five years had insulted her and everything about her, was the first to ever sincerely describe her as amazing.  
  
That Christmas had been the best yet, and the last they would spend together. Bill, Charlie, even Percy, full of apologies, had turned up, and all nine Weasley's had been together for the last time.  
  
The next year, Charlie had been back in Romania, working with a large group of dragons. Death Eaters had attacked, and captured the dragons. Charlie had duelled with Lucius Malfoy, seriously injuring the elder Malfoy before finally being hit by an Avada Kedavra.  
  
Harry and Hermione were ill with grief, and Ron and Ginny had been inconsolable. Their days were spent locked in the Gryffindor tower, praying that an owl would come, saying it was all a mistake, telling the that Charlie was waiting for them at home.  
  
The owl never came.   
  
Ginny and Ron made themselves so ill that they were forced to the Hospital Wing. Harry and Hermione were let off lessons until they started sleeping.  
  
Draco had been the worst, worse than Ginny, worse than Ron, worse than even Molly and Arthur. His family, as he referred to the Weasleys, were the only people to ever take him in and treat him like a son. Charlie in particular had been friendly to the young man, teaching him all about the dragons he worked with, and Draco had come to love the fierce beasts almost as much as Hagrid did.  
  
And his real father had killed Charlie.  
  
Draco became extremely depressed, refusing to talk to anyone. Hermione spent hours trying to engage him in conversation, but he would simply leave for his bed. Dumbledore had allowed Draco to move into the Gryffindor tower, as Slytherins had taken to attacking him and had labelled him a traitor.  
  
Once, he had tried to kill himself. Hermione had been the one to find him. Harry was with Ron and Ginny, leading them back from the Hospital Wing. Hermione and Draco were to meet them.  
  
Draco had locked himself in his room, and no amount of shouting would elicit an answer. Hermione, now sick with worry, tried to use Alohamora. The door refused to move, and so she transfigured an axe and broke it down.  
  
Stepping over the wreckage, she made her way to the bed. The floor was sticky, wet, and the bed was a darker red than before. Hermione had fearfully pulled back the hangings and screamed.  
  
Draco lay motionless on the bed, his wrists lacerated.  
  
Hermione had screamed for help, casting all the healing spells she knew, breaking down into sobs. Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape, upon arriving in the common room, found her standing over him, casting spells. They had taken it the wrong way, and she was suspended pending an inquiry by the Ministry. Draco was not dead, but almost everyone believed that she tried to kill him.  
  
Harry, Ron, Ginny, they weren't sure what to believe. They protected Hermione, but also waited patiently for Draco to come to, and explain what had happened. Hermione had locked herself back in her room at home, refusing to answer any owls, until eventually they stopped coming.  
  
She didn't even sit her exams, refused to believe when an owl came carrying the Hogwarts Head Girl badge. The inquiry would take place over the summer, and Draco had cut himself up so badly that he was still recovering, and refused to speak to anyone. No words had passed his lips since he had been found.  
  
A few days before her inquiry, Death Eaters attacked her house. She had heard her parents screams, and had quickly scribbled an owl to Harry and Ron, sending it off with her Christmas present of a barn owl. She had refused to go downstairs, refused to see Death Eaters violating her parents bodies.  
  
She knew it was her they were after, when a familiar voice spoke from downstairs, instructing them to 'find the Mudblood'. Grabbing her wands and preparing a few spells, she waited for the door to burst open.  
  
When it did, the Death Eaters, led again by Lucius, instantly threw hexes. Hermione floored three with one modified Stupefy curse, and then, desparately, starting casting Avada Kedavra. She hit one Death Eater full on with the curse, and he went down.  
  
"Hermione!" The voice rang through her mind, as if Harry was standing there with her. The members of the DA and the professors of Hogwarts entered the house, battling the Death Eaters. Some apparated, but others fought, and lost. Harry and Ron reached her first, and again she was lost in hugs.  
  
Ginny pushed past the professors and then pushed Harry and Ron away from Hermione. Once she could see the terrified girl, Ginny smiled and hugged her.  
  
"I've missed you, Hermione." Just those four words were enough to reduce Hermione to tears, and she clung to Ginny, crying for her parents, crying for Charlie, and crying for her friends. Ginny comforted Hermione until the sobs quietened. Aurors had arrived and were taking away the bodies of the Death Eaters, and also the body of Colin Creevey, killed in the fight.  
  
McGonagall and Snape had not looked at her, now believing that she was innocent. Dumbledore had watched her carefully, apparently waiting for something.  
  
Or someone.   
  
Hermione had pulled away from Ginny, and had stared around the wreck of her home. Her eyes eventually met a pair of grey-blue eyes, which stared back at her sadly.  
  
Draco stood in front of her, unsure of what to do, and still not speaking. Hermione had dragged herself to her feet, and stepped towards him. She remembered exactly what she said.  
  
"Draco? You're alive?" She had barely whispered these words, and reached out to touch him. Her shaking hands had found his face, and her fingers had trailed down his cheek. Draco had held open his arms, and Hermione had willingly stepped into them.  
  
After that day, she had never left them.  
  
Draco had held her, calming her without saying anything. After a while, he had turned to Dumbledore, and finally said something.  
  
"I love her."  
  
Hermione had heard, but was still in shock. Their friendship had spanned only a year, but to her, it seemed like a lifetime. She knew, then, that she loved him too, and had smiled. Draco explained what had happened. He had been devastated when his father had caused so much pain to the Weasleys, those who took him in and looked after him as one of their own. He had wanted to end it all, so he wouldn't have to see the sadness he felt he caused, and had slashed his wrists.  
  
"She saved me." He had said this, and repeated it over and over again, until a tear escaped his eyes. Up until then, he had never cried for Charlie, never cried for almost losing Hermione forever. And now he did, shaking, his arms wrapped tightly around Hermione.  
  
Hermione and Draco were taken to live with the Order. Molly was appointed her guardian, Hermione's inquiry cancelled, and she accepted the position of Head Girl. Over the summer, she grieved for her parents, and Draco helped her through it. Their relationship blossomed, and they returned to Hogwarts hand in hand. Hermione quickly caught up on the work she had missed, and soon found herself ahead of the year group. This had been their last year in Hogwarts. After Hogwarts, Hermione had gone to a Wizard university, Draco, Harry and Ron became Aurors. Ginny, however, still had a year to go.  
  
Exactly one year ago, they had returned to Hogwarts for a reunion of sorts. Hermione was overjoyed to see them again, and once she had Draco's hand, didn't release it all night. Harry had proposed to Ginny, and the delighted girl had accepted tearfully. Hermione and Draco had spent some time on their own, in the spot where she sat now. Draco had also proposed, just before midnight. She never had a chance to accept.  
  
At midnight, Death Eaters had stormed the grounds. Voldemort was there, leading the attack. He instantly got drawn in to a duel with Harry, while Dumbledore and Ron protected Harry from outside interference. This had gone out of their hands, and only Harry could stop it.  
  
Hermione and Draco shared one last kiss before they were seperated, him dragged into a duel with a Death Eater, Hermione duelling with another. Curses flew through the air, and screams joined them as Cruciatus was cast repeatedly. Snape was a valuable asset to the fight, shouting out the weaknesses of the various Death Eaters as he duelled with Lucius Malfoy. Neville, finally proving himself more than competant, took out Death Eater after Death Eater. When the Dementors joined the attack, Patronus after Patronus charged around the grounds, driving them away. Hermione wiped out the Death Eater she was duelling with, and ran to find the others.  
  
Draco had been drawn into duel after duel, proving himself a hero as he saved Dumbledore's life again and again. Hermione joined the fight in the Great Hall, and duelled her way to where Harry and Voldemort stood. There they were, circling each other in the centre, Voldemort throwing hexes, Harry's Quidditch reflexes helping him dodge them. Dumbledore and Ron were surrounded by bodies. There was no apparating on the Hogwarts ground, and the school was surrounded by Aurors. There was no escaping for the Death Eaters.  
  
Hermione had started running towards Harry, and was hit by a body. It was Snape's. He was almost unconscious after the duel, and Lucius Malfoy had still been casting Cruciatus. Hermione had raised her wand, and had listened to Snape's broken speech, instructing her on how to approach the duel. Hermione had lowered her wand, as if she surrendered. Lucius neared her, and was hit with the full force of Hermione's Fernunculus. Lucius had fallen over backwards, and within minutes was dead.  
  
Hermione had cast healing spells on Snape quickly, but had been elbowed out of the way by Neville, who saved Snape's life. He put his training to good use, and quickly had Snape awake and ready to fight again. Hermione's eyes had scanned the fight. There was no sign of Draco. Her attention was dragged to the main fight. Almost in a dream, she had cast hex after hex at the Death Eaters surrounding her, her eyes never leaving the fight. Harry was on the offensive at this point, and Voldemort had an extremely hard time escaping the hexes.  
  
Dumbledore had been drawn into a duel with another Death Eater, and it had been left to Ron to protect Harry from outside interference. He knew that he couldn't interfere with the duel between Harry and Voldemort, but he could still protect him.  
  
A green light had caught the attention of everyone in the hall as an Avada Kedavra curse headed straight for Harry. Ron's eyes had widened as he had seen Peter Pettigrew in the corner of the hall. He jumped in front of the curse and, before it hit him, sent another straight back to Pettigrew. It had all happened within a matter of seconds, but had passed in slow motion for Hermione. Ron had been sent flying when he was hit in the chest with the curse. Pettigrew had tried to escape the curse, but didn't have Ron's reflexes. He went down under Ron's Avada Kedavra.  
  
By now, all the Death Eaters had been killed, or had surrendered. Hermione watched the fight, paralysed with fear, when Harry finally lifted his wand, having watched Ron's death, and he had put every ounce of his being into casting an Avada Kedavra strong enough to kill Voldemort. The green light had lit the battlefield, and Voldemort had let out an agonising scream. There was no escape this time.  
  
The light had eventually cleared. When it did, Harry had still been standing, with his wand outstretched. Voldemort's body was on the floor. This time, Hermione had known, it was for good.  
  
Harry had smiled triumphantly, but once he had lowered his wand, he collapsed. After that day, he hadn't even opened his eyes.  
  
What seemed like the entire staff of St Mungos had filed into the Hall. Hermione had been led away, and all the time she had asked for Draco. No-one knew where he was, and no body was ever found. Hermione had returned every day for months, searching for a sign. Nothing had turned up, nothing at all.  
  
Orders of Merlin, First Class were awarded to everyone who had fought. Ron had died with dignity, and was given a funeral worthy of a King. He was buried with his Order of Merlin, his wand, and his other awards for bravery. The name Weasley was now revered in the Wizarding world, almost as much as the name Potter. Harry was the saviour of the Wizarding world, and was awarded so many titles, they filled many pages of the History books. Neville and Snape became friends, and were also awarded many titles. Neville became the most important Healer in the world, his name known throughout the Muggle world too.  
  
Hermione was declared a hero, too. She had her awards, all locked away at home. Her life was no longer worth living. Two of her best friends lay in St Mungos. Not even Neville had been able to wake them up, and now Neville and Snape were working on developing another potion to try and wake them. Ginny would wake once Harry woke, it was assumed, and so all efforts were concentrated on Harry.  
  
Another best friend was dead. He had finally achieved his lifelong dream, had become known all over the world. Nothing less than Ron deserved. He was a hero.  
  
Her love, her reason for still existing, had never been found. Percy Weasley, the Minister of Magic, kept people searching for him. It was widely believed that he had gone into the same coma as Harry. But Hermione knew the truth. The place inside her, that had been filled by Draco, was empty, empty, and never going to be filled again. He was dead.  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm so sorry." Hermione's voice was lost in the rain. "I failed you all. But, I'm not, I'm not strong enough to do this! I need your help." She once again tried to justify her actions, her trembling hands gripping her wand tightly.  
  
"Why did you all have to go? Now I've got no-one." She bit back a sob. "I need you all. Ron, Harry, Ginny, Draco...oh Gods." She started rocking back and forth, her cries filling the air.  
  
"Please, tell me, tell me you're not gone! I need you all!" she yelled, half in anger, half in pain. "Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me all alone?"  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.  
  
Lifting her wand, she transfigured a small rock that she had brought into a knife.   
  
"But I'm not taking the Wizards way out. I'm not that much of a coward. At least, I'm not afraid, not afraid of the pain. You left me with much more pain than this." She handled the knife for a moment, remembering all her friends.  
  
"I wish you would come and find me," she whispered, her voice lost in the wind, sending out a silent plea.   
  
"I need you all, so much, to come and help me, help me through this," she whimpered. She angled the knife and lifted her eyes to the sky.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and plunged the knife forward. Her last words echoed over the grounds.  
  
"You can't help me. No-one can save me now."  
  
~*~ 


End file.
